Have I waited long enough?

 

No this is not my fashion, beauty, or lifestyle blog. No I don't think I'm going to post too many of my creative projects or random DIY projects (maybe). This is my daily life minus the glamour...not that I have some glamorous life. I don't. In fact, life has been pretty hard lately. That is another story.

The point is this. I hate procrastinating. I do at times, but I hate it regardless. Having something hang over your head and pick at you until its finally finished. With that being said I have had something I've wanted to do for the past six or more years. I wrote a novel. Yes a novel. I wrote it, printed it, put it in a binder, then tucked it away. It has been sitting on my shelf for years collecting dust. I glance at the binder cover from time to time and think "maybe now", but push the thought away and continue with my life.

So why wait? I haven't been able to figure that out. Am I scared of what the world will think? Am I scared of failure? Do I really want to know the outcome? The answer to all of those is probably yes. After all these years I do still worry about what will come of my book or if I'm actually "good enough" to get published. I will never know until I try.

I have worked on some editing and a storm of new ideas came to me. With all the new ideas I decided to write then write some more. I'm not sure how great the first book is. I've been told by those who have had a peek inside that it was good. They said they were hooked after the first chapter. That's a good thing right? So yes, I will be sending it in after I finish with a few revisions. In the meantime I will be continuing with my newest novel adventure.

I was scrolling through the internet earlier today and came across this quote. It really struck a nerve with me and related to my last post. When I wrote that a few days ago my novel wasn't really on my mind. At that point I was mostly talking about new business ventures and what was to come. There is no reason why I can't add finishing another novel to my list of things to do.

For now I plan to spend a few hours everyday getting the words on paper. I will worry about the rest once the idea is finished. I'm excited to start my writing journey in addition to everything else I have planned. Its time to get started!

XO,
Brandi J.

Looking Back and Moving Forward

It seems like yesterday we were in a world of big hair, pleated jeans, and leg warmers. Yes, I am talking about the 1980's. Is it just me, or were things so much easier in those days? We didn't obsess about cell phones and all the latest electronics. There wasn't some need to post hourly status updates and constantly snap a selfie. Life was different.

I know things have come a long way, but something about that time period will always make me smile. Yes I am an 80's kid and yes today I took a trip down memory lane. We all do that don't we...go back to a place in our minds when life seemed easier?


I started this blog two years ago, but never bothered to publish the posts. They are actually sitting on my dashboard page with the glowing orange "draft" sign. They will probably stay that way. Two years ago I was nearing my thirtieth birthday and feeling like I was on the brink of some type of midlife crisis. Ok, not so much a midlife crisis, just a "Holy cow I'm almost thirty where did the time go" crisis. Has anyone else had one of those?

So here we are two years later and nearing my birthday yet again. This year I turn 32. I have, at this point, accepted the fact that I am now in my thirties. It is no longer a shock. I get it, I'm a full fledged adult now.

Life doesn't always turn out the way we hope it will. During my trip down memory lane this morning
I reminisced on some of those childhood hopes and dreams. It made me wonder what life would have been if I followed my dreams. We all have those thoughts. I know I'm not alone in this.

Life back then was filled with possibilities. I was creative and had such a vivid imagination. I dreamed and hoped and loved life. I was content alone and never got bored. Like any other girl I spend my days playing barbie, house, school, and (my favorite) dress up! I would spend hours and hours dressing up in old clothes and my moms heels. I would pretend I was a famous fashion designer or leader of some huge corporation. I had stacks of papers and pretend checks in an old brief case and dreamed I ruled the world...at least my world. Life was fun,

As you grow older the things you enjoy sometimes fade away. Life sometimes gets in the way of what we truly enjoy. For me it was always fashion, design (clothes and interior), planning, and organization. For years I even planned on going to design school and hoped to really make something of myself. I wanted to be known. Even in my late teens and early adult years I kept reverting back to the statement  I said way too many times... " I want to be somebody. I want to be important". Somehow, because I didn't follow my dreams I believed I failed at that. I thought I was nobody.

So here I am at almost 32 with a totally different outlook on life. No I didn't go to design school and no I did not become some famous designer. No I do not run some huge corporation and I don't lead a group of people. I do, however, realize that I am still important. And I am very important to the people who matter the most. My children are my world and to them I will always be "somebody". I have accomplished several things in life, but without my family they wouldn't be important. To my family I mean everything and they are my world.

I do still have hopes and dreams. I always will. I am a dreamer, but as an adult I try my best to work towards my dreams. I want to turn them into reality. I don't have the urge to run off to design school at the moment. I dream of helping my children get their education. I dream of leading them and guiding them so they can make the best choices possible. I do have plans for our future though. Just because I run a family does not mean I have to give up everything. It means I have a team behind all that I hope to do.

I value my family. I value our time together. They are what truly make me happy. So now when I plan things I include them! We are in the process of starting a new business. It will definitely incorporate all the things I love and give me time to spend with the ones who matter the most. I can essentially work from home and I love the thought of being here with my kids. Time goes by so quickly and I want to enjoy every minute I have with them. Before I know it they will be adults themselves. I'm not rushing that!

For now I am going to continue my plan. I am going to continue to dream. I am going to continue to work toward my goals, and I am going to help my two boys follow their hopes and dreams. Taking a trip down memory lane is fun, but we have to remember we don't live there anymore. The past is the past. We have to live for now and for a better future. Love the memories you created, but don't dwell on the "what ifs". If you have something that you always wanted to do, then do it! Don't think because things are different or times have changed that you cant do something you dream of. Take charge and go for it!

When I started this blog two years ago it was because I was scared that I was getting older. In all actuality what is there to be scared of? I am older and wiser. I have lived and learned. I have already made mistakes and changed things that I needed to fix. Dreams are never too far gone. It is never too late to try, and that is what I'm going to do!

I am going to make my thirties amazing! Its time to get started!

xo,
Brandi J.